


Aftermath

by rainbowgoddess



Category: Hawaii Five-O (1968)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-17
Updated: 2011-06-17
Packaged: 2017-10-20 12:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowgoddess/pseuds/rainbowgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "The Young Assassins," Steve tries to come to terms with his feelings for Danno. Meanwhile, Danno is feeling guilty for not being able to save Kurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aftermath

After beating "Army" into unconsciousness, Steve stepped back and stared at the man. How could Steve let him live, knowing that he'd killed Danno? More importantly, how could Steve live? How could he go on, day to day, as head of Five-O without his Danno at his side, his right hand, his second in command?

"You know what Danno's life means to me," he'd told the Governor and the prosecutor, when he'd been asked if he would release the two prisoners in exchange for Danno and Kurt. But they didn't know. Nobody knew, not even Danno himself. When Steve had opened the package and seen Danno's badge in it, he'd felt as if an icy hand had gripped his heart.

A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention and, barely breathing, Steve turned to look into the face of one Dan Williams. He was battered, bruised, and bleeding from a huge cut on his head, but he was still standing. Danno was alive. Steve mentally thanked every god he'd ever heard of as he carefully schooled his face into a friendly but neutral expression. "Howzit, Danno?"

"Close, Steve," was the answer he got.

Steve could tell that Dan had been badly shaken, probably traumatized. He'd most likely seen Kurt killed, and Steve didn't know how close Army had come to killing him, but judging by Dan's words just now, it was too close. He wished he could reach out and wipe the grime from Danno's face, and also wipe away the pain and fear that he saw there.

Instead, he gently squeezed his friend's shoulder, put a hand on his back and guided him through the tunnels and out into daylight. He saw Dan blink and cover his eyes as his vision adjusted to the sudden brightness, and he moved his arm so that it was all the way around Danno's shoulders, using the excuse that Danno probably couldn't see very well yet, as he took him over to the ambulance.

The paramedics tended to Danno's cuts and bruises and strained wrist, then left him sitting in the back of the ambulance as they went to tend to the injuries Steve had inflicted on Army. After answering questions for an HPD officer, Steve went to check on Danno, and saw that his colleague had started shaking and sweating, and he was breathing rapidly, close to hyperventilating.

Jumping into the back of the ambulance, Steve told an officer to fetch the paramedics. "Danno's going into shock," he explained. He wrapped his arms around his friend and held him close, talking to him, trying to reassure him that everything was all right.

"Steve, I'm freezing," Dan complained. "I can't get warm after being in that bunker for so long."

Steve took off his jacket and put it around Danno's shoulders, trying to warm him, and continued to hold him, thinking as he did so that while he had often wanted to hold his friend in this way, this was not the kind of situation he'd imagined it happening in.

When the medics arrived they removed Danno's tie and loosened his clothing. They had him lie down in the back of the ambulance, raised his feet — "to help his blood pressure," they informed Steve when he asked what they were doing — and started him on oxygen. Tucking some blankets around him, one of the medics asked Steve to stay with Danno. "Having you here will help him calm down," the medic explained. "You're his boss, and his friend. I think what set him off was you not being here for a few minutes."

Steve mentally cursed himself for having left Danno for even a short time. He knew he had a job to do as head of Five-O, but right now he figured that Danno was his job. His well-being was what was most important right now. He couldn't hold Danno any longer, but he took his friend's hand in his. He was rewarded by a slight smile from Danno. "Thanks for being here, Steve."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else, Danno."

Ben and Chin came by then, to check on Danno and get instructions from Steve. Steve put Chin in charge of Five-O temporarily — "Just until I can be sure that Danno's going to be okay." He knew he should call the Governor, tell him that the People's Attack Group had been dealt with, tell him that Danno was okay. But to do that, he'd have to leave Danno here in the ambulance by himself, which could trigger another attack of shock. Chin could deal with the Governor. Steve wasn't going to let Danno out of his sight if he could help it.

"Steve, you have work to do," Dan chided him. "I'll be okay now."

Steve crouched by Danno's side and kept his hand held firmly in his own. He looked into his friend's eyes. "I thought I'd lost you, Danno," he said. "You were missing for two days. I couldn't find you. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. Army told me he'd killed you. Now that I've found you, I'm not letting go of you that easily. Get it?"

Another slight smile from Danno. "I get it." Then he looked Steve over for the first time since they'd come out of the bunker. "You're, uh, kind of messed up there, Steve."

"Look who's talking," Steve pointed out.

"I guess you took care of Army."

He wasn't exactly proud of the way he'd treated the man who called himself Army, but he wasn't sorry for it, either. "He killed Kurt. He said he'd killed you," Steve stated. "I couldn't let him get away with that."

"Steve, I.... I'm sorry about Kurt. I feel like I should have done something, stopped it somehow."

"Don't beat yourself up, Danno," Steve ordered. "You didn't pull the trigger. Army did. It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault but Army, and he'll pay for what he did to Kurt, and what he did to you."

Any further conversation was pre-empted by the return of the paramedics. They took Danno's vital signs, checked to make sure his head wound was no longer bleeding, and said that he didn't need to go to the hospital but that he should take it easy for the next few days.

Steve knew that they had taken care of Danno's physical wounds. His emotional wounds would be harder to deal with. The HPD did have counsellors for these kinds of incidents, but Steve hoped that his friend would allow him to help as well. He didn't know if he'd be able to bear it if Danno shut him out. Dan was already blaming himself for Kurt's death, and Steve didn't know if he'd be able to stop him from doing so.

"Do you want to come home with me, Danno?" Steve asked.

Danno looked at him thoughtfully. "Yeah," he said finally. "I don't.... I don't really want to be alone right now."

Danno's agreement was a relief to Steve. He knew that he wouldn't be able to rest if he couldn't keep an eye on his friend, but he didn't want to crowd the man either. He put his arm around Danno's shoulders again — _just in case he's unsteady on his feet_ , Steve told himself — and they headed to Steve's car.

As they drove, Steve tried to relax. He tried to force himself to stop reliving the moment when he'd seen Army run out of the room and believed that his friend was dead. Danno was not talking, which didn't help. Steve felt obligated to say something, anything. He knew that friends didn't always need to talk, and that silence wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but he needed to hear Danno's voice.

"Look, Danno," he started. "I'm not going to pressure you to talk about it right now. If you need time, that's okay. But don't squash it. Don't let it build up inside you. Don't wait too long to talk to somebody. It doesn't have to be me. It could be someone from the police department, or it could be, I don't know, your girlfriend, maybe. But talk to someone, sooner rather than later."

There was a sound like a snort from Danno. "You know I don't have a girlfriend."

Steve was glad to hear that. "I don't interfere in your personal life, Danno," he said innocently. "I know you're a popular guy. You might have lots of girlfriends."

Another snort from the passenger seat. "Personal life? I think the time I spend with you is about the extent of my personal life."

They pulled up in front of Dan's apartment building so that he could go in and change his clothes. Right now he was wearing the same bloodstained suit he'd been wearing for the last two days. Steve was going to wait in the car, but a look from his friend made him reconsider. "I'll come in with you."

It was a little thing, but Steve had mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, he liked that Danno wanted him there. On the other, he wondered how long it would be until Danno felt okay with being alone again.

When they got to Steve's place, the first thing he did was order some Chinese food. He didn't know how long it had been since Danno had eaten last, and judging from how enthusiastically Dan fell on the food, it was probable that he hadn't eaten since the abduction.

Another thing that made Steve not feel sorry he'd beaten the snot out of Army.

After their meal was over, Steve was about to turn on the television to watch the evening news, but he reconsidered. Most likely, news of the People's Attack Army, Kurt's murder and Danno's deliverance would be the top stories. They didn't need to hear that. The problem was that now, Steve had no idea what to do.

"Steve," Danno said suddenly. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, Danno, but like I said, you don't have to talk if you're not ready."

"It's not about that. Well, sort of, but not really. Could you just.... Just listen to me, and don't interrupt. This is going to be hard, and I need to get it all out."

Steve was curious and rather concerned about what his friend needed to talk about, other than his captivity, that was so difficult for him. Could he be thinking of leaving Five-O? Had this incident made him decide to leave the force? But he'd do as Danno asked. "Go ahead, Danno."

Taking a deep breath, Danno began. "When Kurt and I were in the bunker, we had a lot of time to talk. He talked about Elizabeth, about what he would want to say to her if he could see her one last time. I think he knew he was going to die. We both thought we were going to die."

Steve wanted to say something then, but he refrained, as he'd promised he would.

"Kurt asked me if I had anyone. He meant a girlfriend, I guess. I told him there was someone I would to talk to before I died, because there were things I wanted to say. I didn't tell him who it was, but it was you, Steve.

"I knew you were doing your damnedest to find me. I really believed you would, but I didn't know if you would find me in time. There were things I never had a chance to tell you, and I vowed that if I did ever see you again, then I would tell you those things." He stopped for a moment, as if gathering his courage.

"What do you want to tell me, Danno?" Steve asked gently.

Danno took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you what a privilege it's been to work with you for the past seven years. How much I've enjoyed being part of Five-O, part of your team. How much I've learned from you, and how if I didn't make it, I wanted you to go on, to give my place on the team to someone else so that they would have a chance to learn from the best, the way I did."

Steve swallowed hard and tried to say something, marvelling at Danno's unselfish wish for someone to be given the chance he had, but at the same time feeling the icy hand gripping his heart again at the thought of how close he'd come to losing him. "Danno, I...."

But Danno held up a hand. "I'm not finished, Steve," he said. "I haven't come to the most important thing yet. The most important thing I want to tell you is this. After all these years of working with you, of spending most of my waking hours with you, I've come to realize just how important you are to me. I was thinking that if our roles had been reversed, if you had been the one being held captive by Army, then I would do exactly as you did for me. I would move heaven and earth to find you, and I wouldn't rest until I did. And there's a reason for that. It's not just because you're my boss, or my colleague, or, most importantly, my friend. It's because I love you, Steve. I've fallen in love with you."

Hearing those words from Danno left Steve completely speechless. He was stunned. He had no idea what to say. He wanted to take the other man into his arms, hold him, kiss him, take him to bed and make love to him, but he felt like he was the one who was now in shock. Thoughts were racing through his head, questions like: how would this affect their jobs? Could they tell anybody? Could they live together, or would that raise too many questions?

Steve wasn't aware of how long he had been sitting there, just wondering at how to react to what Danno had just told him, until his friend got up. "I'm sorry, Steve. I shouldn't have said anything. I hope this won't harm our friendship, or our professional relationship."

No! Danno was leaving! He couldn't leave! But he was already on his way to the door. Steve jumped up and ran to the door.

"Don't leave, Danno. Please don't leave." He raised his hand and brushed Dan's face, the way he'd wanted to do when he'd found him back in the bunker. "Don't leave me ever again." He then leaned forward and kissed Danno.

This time it was Dan's turn to be surprised, but his response didn't take nearly as long as Steve's. He eagerly returned the kiss. When the kiss was finished — Steve thought it took hours, but it was really just a few seconds — Steve took Dan in his arms and hugged him. "I have wanted to do that forever," he said, "but especially since I found you in the bunker."

"I wish you had," Dan answered. "But I think I understand why you didn't, since you weren't alone."

Steve knew that if he and Danno became lovers, this was something they would have to deal with. There would be no public displays of affection. They would have to remain strictly professional on the job, but even when they were not on the job, they wouldn't be able to be any more affectionate in public than any other two men who were friends.

For now, though, he didn't want to think about that. He wanted to just revel in the knowledge that Danno returned his feelings. He took Dan's hand and led him to the couch. "When you were missing, I felt like part of me was missing. I was desperate to find you. I got a package delivered to me that had your badge in it, and I thought you might already be dead. I knew then, if I didn't know it before, how much you mean to me, how much I need you, and how much... How much I love you. I love you, Danno."

Dan smiled to hear Steve's words, but then he sobered. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he said. "I can't say I'm sorry that it made you realize your feelings, but I'm sorry that I put you through so much pain and worry."

"Danno, stop it," Steve said sharply. "This was not your fault. You were abducted at gunpoint. What I went through is nothing compared to what you went through."

Dan sighed. "I should have stopped them. I shouldn't have let them take me or Kurt. I'm a cop. I should be able to handle a couple of thugs."

Steve was angry now, not at Danno, but at the people who had caused him to feel that way. "Danno, stop with the 'should.' You can't change anything that happened. You were taken by surprise. Kurt was unarmed. They were armed. You did what you thought you had to do to keep yourself and Kurt safe.

"Listen to me, Danno, as your boss, as your friend, as someone who loves you. This was not your fault. Please stop blaming yourself. I can't stand to see you, someone I love, in such pain for something that was none of your doing." He hesitated, then continued. "Now there's something I have to tell you. Army told me that if I released his two 'soldiers,' he would let you and Kurt go. Then when he killed Kurt, he said he'd still let you go. The Governor said it was up to me, and I refused. I refused to let them go. I put you in danger, Danno, and if you want to blame someone for what happened to Kurt, you can blame me."

Dan reached out and took Steve in his arms. "No. You don't want me to blame myself. Well, I don't want you to blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. Army wouldn't have released us. He'd have killed us regardless. That was his intention all along. He didn't do it right away just so that he could torture us — and you, too."

At some point Steve finally looked at the clock and saw how late it was. It had been an exhausting couple of days, and neither of them had had much sleep. He stood up. "Come to bed, Danno. It's late, and we both need to sleep — preferably together," he added with a smile. He didn't worry about people finding out that Danno had stayed over. He had a spare room. Not that he wanted Danno to sleep in that spare room, of course.

Danno didn't seem ready to relax. "Steve, there are a lot of things we need to talk about. What we're going to tell people. How we're going to handle things at work. Where we're going to live — together or separately. And that's just for starters. Neither of us has been in this kind of relationship before, and...."

Steve bent down and kissed Danno to make him stop talking. "Danno," he said. "It's late. I know we have things to discuss. Believe me, I do. But how about we let them wait for now. It's been a very hard couple of days, especially for you. Right now, I just want to hold you. Can we do that?" He held out his hand in invitation.

Taking the offered hand, Danny smiled. "Lead the way," he said.

END


End file.
